• by Elizabeth Wagner* (new york)
• Thursday, April 15, 2010
• Inter Press Service

Anna Mollah wept uncontrollably in her Glen Oaks, Queens home as she remembered how her husband used to beat her.

He punched her stomach when she was pregnant with their first son, kicked her when she was carrying their daughter and did it again during the third pregnancy. He hit her when they disagreed over the electricity bill, or when he had headaches, or when he disapproved of the school supplies she bought for the kids.

He repeatedly called her 'worthless', 'garbage' and 'good for nothing', and made her believe it.

One day she used the family car to run errands without his permission and he got mad. They argued and he grew madder. Then he flew into a rage, wrapped his hands around her neck and squeezed. She tried to scream for help as he strangled her. She was able to utter, 'I'll call the police.' Then he shoved her to the ground.

She buried her face in her small hands and sobbed as she recalled her fear and the horror in her children's eyes as they watched.

Mollah, as she tells it, was a victim of domestic violence for two decades. As a Muslim immigrant from Indonesia, she knew no one in New York City she could turn to for help.

'You are hopeless,' she said. 'You don't know what to do.'

So Mollah remained silent for 20 years, divulging her secret only to God.

They Don't Want to Talk about It

For Mollah and thousands of battered immigrant women like her, breaking the silence proves excruciatingly difficult. Foreign-born women fail to report abuse more than U.S. women for a number of reasons: language barriers, the fear of deportation and cultural taboos about discussing marital problems, according to New York City's Office to Combat Domestic Violence.

Mollah hid the abuse for years, too embarrassed to confide even in her mother and sister when they later moved to Queens.

'I felt ashamed, I felt embarrassed,' she said. 'You chose the person yourself. We agreed to get married and now I failed. So I couldn't tell anyone. I never told anyone.'

Hundreds of non-profit organisations in New York City provide support for abused women. The city's anti-domestic violence office operates facilities that direct victims to support groups, shelters and legal resources. Staff members speak more than 20 languages collectively, and can communicate in 150 languages.

'The services are right there and they are free,' said OCDV spokeswoman Ruth Villalonga.

But some anti-abuse advocates say many organisations can't cater to certain newer immigrant groups. They say victims often prefer to seek help among people of their own ethnicity or religion.

Robina Niaz, director of Turning Point for Women and Families, said newer immigrants, such as South Asians and Muslims, are still struggling to create their own resources. Niaz founded her Flushing, Queens-based group in 2004, for Muslim women.

It is the only Muslim-focused abuse support organisation in the city today, she said.

'If you feel you belong, then you can overcome some of the challenges,' said Niaz, a Muslim immigrant from Pakistan. 'Abuse isolates you. How do you break isolation? Create organisations. The sense of safety is key.'

Wanted: Safety Zone

Niaz believes many agencies cannot meet the needs of Muslim women and subsequently fail to create that safety zone. For instance, Niaz says few shelters have extra space where devout Muslims can pray, or take into account Muslims' fasting and dietary needs; Muslims do not eat pork, for example.

Muslim women are traditionally reticent in discussing personal hardships, Niaz added. She admitted she herself kept secret the verbal abuse waged against her by her husband.

'Our women often come from cultures where they wait for someone else to ask what's wrong,' she said. 'The onus is on families to step up and see if someone needs help. Here in America people (ask), 'how was I supposed to know that you needed help if you didn't say anything?' And Muslim women will say, 'well, you never asked.''

Niaz believes if Muslim organisations become more visible, domestic violence will become less of a stigma. New York City is home to the second largest Muslim population in the United States, and Niaz expects to see an increase in the number of Muslim victims seeking help.

Turning Point has counseled more than 250 women since the group's inception, but Niaz believes she could provide more help with more employees and money (she has a staff of five). Office space consists of one small counseling room. And a large grant given by her main funder was set to end in June 2010.

Money is not exactly pouring into Muslim groups, either, with Islamic organisations including Turning Point facing post-9/11 scepticism and hostility.

'The anti-Muslim sentiments are going strong,' said Adem Carroll, chairman of New York City's Muslim Consultative Network. Carroll said Americans are growing increasingly cautious about having their names affiliated with Muslim organisations, and may refuse to donate to Islamic charities.

Niaz credits city, state and federal agencies for being aware that immigrant-based abuse organisations need aid. But she is discouraged that the government is not making such assistance a priority.

Until city agencies step in with funding, Niaz encourages the Muslim community to build its own arsenal of resources. There is a severe lack of Muslim social workers and attorneys, she warned.

*Special to IPS from NYU Livewire.

© Inter Press Service (2010) — All Rights Reserved. Original source: Inter Press Service

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